Exvangelical Survival Guide (Part 1)

So you finally decided you’re done with the church that taught you dancing was the devil’s cardio and that curiosity was basically a gateway drug. 

Congratulations. That’s no small thing. 

But if you’re anything like the rest of the folks who’ve walked out the back door of evangelicalism, you’re probably thinking: now what?

It’s like sneaking out of a family reunion through the bathroom window… you’re free, but you’re still stuck with a red Solo cup of lukewarm sweet tea that's a few days too old, much like the bitter aftertaste of bad theology you’re still carrying.

Here’s Part 1 of a little guide to keep you steady. Not rules. Just a few survival tips, Southern Fried Heresy–style.

Tip 1: Pack Light

Take the good stuff with you. 

That hymn that still makes your chest swell? Keep it. 
That story about Jesus feeding people without checking IDs? Take it. 
The purity rings, the shame sermons, the weird youth group skits about hell? Leave those in the church basement with the broken folding chairs.

Love travels lighter than guilt.

Tip 2: Find a New Potluck

You weren’t meant to deconstruct by yourself. 

Faith and life are potluck meals; you’re supposed to share. Find people who remind you you’re not alone. That might be a book club, an online community, a justice-minded church, or just that one friend who makes you laugh until you cry.

You deserve tables where no one checks your theology before handing you a plate.

Tip 3: Make Your Own Soundtrack

If hymns still stir you, sing ‘em. 
If Lizzo helps you get through the day, crank it up. 
Dolly Parton is basically a prophet in rhinestones, so add her too. 

Don’t overthink it. Just fill your world with songs that make you feel loved, not broken.

Tip 4: Pray Like a Human

Forget the audition-tape prayers where you tried to impress God with your vocabulary and enough “Father Gods” to make it sound like you’re stuck in a theological game of Marco Polo with the Almighty. 

You don’t drop in three Bible verses, press B7, and expect blessings to clatter out at your feet. 

Prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind. It’s about changing us. 
Sometimes it’s silence. 
Sometimes it’s laughter. 
Sometimes it’s just breathing in and breathing out. 

Honest always beats fancy.

Tip 5: Healing Takes Time

Some days you’ll miss the certainty. Other days you’ll taste freedom so good you’ll never look back. 

Both are normal. 
Both are sacred. 

You’re not failing at deconstruction if you wobble a little. You’re just human.

Final Word for the Road

You are not lost. You are not faithless. You are not broken.

You’re just someone who remembered Love is bigger than fear and walked out the door.

So cut the strings, keep the joy, and let Love do the heavy lifting. Laugh often, cry when you need to, and know this: 
Love isn’t waiting for you to get it “right.” 
Love has been walking beside you this whole time.