Thou Shalt Not Shove Your Religion Down Everyone’s Throat

You feel that?

That’s the heat of a scorched-earth campaign by Christian Nationalists to turn your kid’s public school into a Sunday school where the sermon’s written by Ted Cruz and edited by Hobby Lobby.

First, the IRS shrugs and says, “Go ahead, pastors, endorse candidates from the pulpit – separation of church and state is just a suggestion now.”

And Texas steps in like the overcompensating kid at Vacation Bible School and says, “Hey y’all, let’s legally force the Ten Commandments into every classroom!”

Because apparently Jesus can’t survive unless he’s laminated and tacked up next to the fire drill instructions.

This isn’t about Jesus.

This is about power.

The version of Jesus they’re pushing wouldn’t last five minutes in the Gospels.

He never blessed a border wall.
He never wrote campaign checks.
He never screamed “Suffer the children to obey my legislation!”

But you know who does love this mess?

White Christian Nationalists who’ve realized their pews are emptying, their kids are asking questions, and their theology can’t stand up to the actual teachings of Christ.

So instead of adapting?

They legislate.
They cheat.
They break down the wall between church and state like it owes them back rent.

Let’s be real clear:

If your faith needs a law to make it stick,
If your theology needs the government to prop it up,
If your version of Jesus needs a classroom hostage situation to be relevant…

It’s not faith.

It’s fascism in a praise band t-shirt.

They keep saying they’re “restoring values,”
but what they’re really doing is slapping a golden calf on top of the Constitution and praying no one notices it looks a lot like Donald Trump in a halo.

And here’s the extra bit of heresy they hope you don’t mention:

The very government they’ve cozied up to?
It couldn’t be further from Jesus if it tried.

Jesus said: Feed the hungry.
They said: Cut SNAP, starve the poor.

Jesus said: Welcome the stranger.
They said: Build a swampy gulag and call it “border security.”

Jesus said: Let the children come.
They said: Only if they’re straight, white, and reading from the right Bible.

They’re not putting Jesus in schools.
They’re putting Empire in a preacher's robe and calling it righteousness.

And who are they coming for next?

Your queer kid.
Your questioning teenager.
Your multifaith family.
Your pastor who dares to preach love without conditions.

Because this isn’t about Christian values.

It’s about making sure their Jesus (the white, male, gun-toting, bootstraps-and-Betsy-Ross Jesus) is the only one your kids ever hear about.

So here’s your altar call, progressive people:

Resist this fake religion.
Mock it if you have to.
Name it for what it is:
Empire theology weaponized against the common good.

Because the Jesus they say they love?

Would walk into that Texas classroom, see that state-mandated Ten Commandments poster, and ask why the hell Pharaoh’s scribes are writing the curriculum.

He’d tear it off the wall, not because commandments are bad, but because forced religion isn’t faith – it’s spiritual hostage-taking.

He’d gather the queer kids, the undocumented ones, the kids whose families don’t pray like the principal wants them to…

And he’d say: You are not the problem –
They are.
The ones using my name like a billy club.
The ones who think a cross is a sword and a pulpit is a campaign stop.
The ones who scream “freedom” while shackling your soul to their empire.

So, if you think this movement is about Jesus?
You need to get to reading the Jesusy parts of the Bible.

Because he’d be leading the walkout.
He’d be marching the kids out of that school with a rainbow flag in one hand and a megaphone in the other.

And as the legislators shouted Bible verses after him,
he’d turn, look them dead in the eye,
and say:

“Woe to you, lawmakers of lies.
You’ve taken my name in vain.
And you’re damn right,
My followers and I
Are here to flip this F'd up system.”